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V..v..v..vul..Vulnerability

October 16, 2014

by Jeanine Izzo

Men in Clouds

Lets be real…being vulnerable stinks on so many levels.  Admitting you don’t have it all figured out…is like being in an alley, behind a restaurant, in front of a dumpster right before trash pickup.  No wonder, we do just about anything to avoid these situations.

Letting others in on our V..v..v..v..vul..vul..vul…vulnerability can be gut wrenching.  At the same time, acting like we have everything figured out all of the time…well, that can be exhausting.

Some people say showing vulnerability is for the weak, yet truly it is for those who stretch themselves to learn and grow.  After all, this is what being out of our comfort zone really means.  We have to put ourselves in situations where we haven’t been before, where we don’t have all the answers, where we are prone to stumbling, where we most likely will be judged by others.  All this because we see the possibilities of greatness.  Truly, being vulnerable takes strength.

Still, it can be difficult to work through the tough spots in order to realize the gains.  This is where a support system comes in handy.  Having a sounding board can help us reach our resolutions more quickly, yet determining who to open up to, and how much to share, is typically an experimental recipe that is perfected over time.  Even well intentioned confidants can miss the mark with how they offer support.  Which of the following results have you experienced when you have sought support?  The other party…

A.  Gets defensive and creates unproductive conflict
B.  Hastily tells you what to do instead of helping you find the best way forward
C.  Feels sorry for you, coddles you, enables you and allows you to play small
D.  Commiserates and very quickly turns the conversation to focus on themselves
E.  Attempts to hold you back based on their own fears
F.  Minimizes your situation
Which of these do you use when others come to you for support?
These approaches to support generally are not helpful.  In fact, they can create more frustration and confusion.
Forward Moving Tips:
1.  Know that everyone has vulnerabilities, even when they are not apparent…everyone.
2.  Find one or more people that hold your confidences, listen well, focus on you, challenge you to think, help you come up with viable solutions, build you up, encourage you to soar, celebrate your successes.
3.  Be the above to others.
Continuing to mask underlying vulnerable thoughts and feelings only prolongs their influence.  As a leader, it’s important to both provide and find a safe and encouraging place to explore options and to work through vulnerabilities.  At the point where we can express our uncertainties, fears, pain and possibilities…this is when we begin to heal, come up with ideas and solutions, and  find the strength to keep going.

For assistance with moving forward with more focus, confidence and success along your journey,  Contact Viage Partners today.

© Viage Partners 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Viage Partners with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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