Shoulda-Woulda-Coulda

Oh, the pain of shoulda-woulda-coulda!

“I should have put my name in the hat for that promotion…even if it was a stretch.”

“I would have if I knew so and so was going to get the job.”

“I could have at least talked to someone about my aspirations.”

Instead of giving into the pain and allowing these type of events to produce unproductive, energy-draining, demotivating scenarios…get ahead of them by changing your passive approach into an active one.

Stop making assumptions that don’t serve you well…Start gathering helpful information in advance.

Stop limiting yourself and those close to you…Start knocking down real and perceived barriers.

Stop waiting for someone else to define your future…Start gaining clarity on what you want.

Stop blaming others for your displeasure…Start taking responsibility for your situation.

Stop complaining about what you can’t control…Start taking purposeful action.

 In the event that you are experiencing a current or past situation that is weighing you down, draw from the following tips to lighten your load.

 Forward Moving Tips:

1.  Realize what you did/didn’t do.  Owning up to what didn’t go as planned on your end can be difficult to admit, yet it is an important step to helping yourself.

2.  Think about how the result of your action/in-action is making you feel.  Many times we feel anger and blame toward ourselves, yet instead of dealing with it we take our disappointment out on others.

3.  Determine what you wish you did instead.  This process helps you learn from the experience and prepares you for the future.

4.  Forgive yourself.  Now that you have taken steps to learn and grow from unfavorable events, ease the reigns on beating yourself up over the past.  This frees you up for the future.

5.  Adjust your behavior.  Apply the lessons you learned toward the next opportunity.

BONUS:  Many times, you can correct for your undesired behavior and change the outcome, or at least reduce the impact.  Consider one or more of the following:  Apologizing for your behavior and sharing how you are rectifying the situation can show growth and open up dialogue.  Revisiting a conversation that has left you feeling uncertain can help fill in missing information.  Asking for feedback, greater responsibility, and additional assignments shows initiative.

In a sense, by utilizing these type of actions, you are re-framing the idea of a mistake into something more productive.  This helps us move forward rather than getting stuck in the muck of shoulda-woulda-coulda!

What do you do to avoid or move through regrets?

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