I Love Me, I Love Me Not…

by Jeanine Izzo

I love me…when I am successful

I love me not…when I fail

I love me…when I receive praise

I love me not…when criticism prevails

I love me…when things go smoothly

I love me not…when there are rough patches

Ironically, the times when we need unconditional self-love and support, are the times when we allow it to escape.  Certainly, the way we treat ourselves is heavily influenced by our experiences and perceptions of acceptable behaviors.  These experiences and perceptions can be less than supportive and accurate, respectively.  For example, in the workplace, it is common for employees to be on the receiving end of the following thoughts and actions…

• • I expect them to be successful
  • I scold them when they fail
  • I barely praise them…to keep them on their toes
  • I criticize them freely
  • I don’t notice when things go smoothly
  • I leave them alone to navigate rough waters

 When this happens, the behaviors are conditioned, internalized and then passed on down the line.  This causes the negative impacts on individual well-being and company productivity to propagate.  In order to break the cycle and create environments that are both healthier and more effective, utilize and pass on the following…

• • Celebrate your successes and the success of others
  • Help yourself and others learn when things don’t go as planned
  • Praise strengths and encourage stretching beyond comfort zones as a means for reinforcement and growth
  • Reflect and provide specific feedback to promote improvements
  • Catch yourself and others doing things well
  • Ask for and offer to partner with others during tough times

What is one thing you do to keep your relationships strong?

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